“All the substances of abuse, whether they’re opiates or cocaine or anything else, they’re actually pain killers.”

Whether it’s a sex addiction, or internet or a relationship or shopping or work addiction, these are ALL attempts to get away from distress.

Keith Richards, who had a severe heroin addiction, said that ‘all the contortions we go through are just not to be ourselves for a few hours.

I don’t care what they tell you about genetics or choices or any of that nonsense, it’s always about pain.

But the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, it’s got a wonderful line in it:

‘Whatever you do, don’t try and escape your pain, but be with it.’

Because the attempt to escape from pain is what creates more pain. And that’s the reality with addiction.

Addicted people need a compassionate present which will permit them to experience their pain without having to run away from it.

And all the attempts to run away, it’s like what another teacher says:

The surest way to go to hell is to try and run away from hell.

We live in a society that, one way or another, is always about instant relief, quick satisfaction, distraction… it’s always the quick getaway.

It is a matter of, at some point, finding a way of being with your pain so that you can actually get to know what it’s really all about.

Source: This article was originally featured on Powerful Primates, and was used with permission from the author.

Hatred is typically defined as being an intense dislike towards another person.  You have a right to dislike someone, but to HATE someone usually means that there is something that is unresolved energetically and needs to be looked at.

Not to mention, hatred is a very destructive and toxic feeling to carry around with you, and it often times can drive you mad.  It can also lead to physical illness and contribute to spiritual and mental instability.  Life is too short to carry around hatred for another person when it can be resolved, so let’s take a look at some things you can do when you feel this intense feeling towards another person:

1) Ask yourself, “Is this even true?”

We get into a habit of taking our initial thoughts and emotions as absolute truth, when the majority of the time they are just egoic impulses and reactions.  And even when they aren’t mere reactions and are actually grounded in some truth, we still tend to create unnecessary stories around a situation and believe them into existence.  Let me give you an example.

Let’s say a friend of yours goes behind your back and smears you on social media and sleeps with your ex.  A story that would initially arise in our minds may be something like “That person betrayed me, and I hate them for that”.  Now notice what happens in your energy field when we take that story and replace it with “That person manifested a behaviour that was aligned with their level of consciousness at the time, and they clearly lack the insight and wisdom to see that was inappropriate.”.

They are both true, but one comes from a place of unconsciousness and turns you into a victim, while the other comes from a place of higher understanding and gives you your power back.  Or maybe, they didn’t even betray you, they just felt extremely hurt by something you did and said to them without you even realizing it and they didn’t know how to express their pain properly.  We often fail to question if we had anything to do with their behaviour.  Check inside yourself for false stories AND for how may have contributed energetically to the situation.

The next time you feel hate towards somebody, question the story you keep telling yourself in your head about the situation.  If you are at all like me, you will find that the story running through your mind about the person you hate is not only useless, it is almost always untrue.

2) Express it to them

One of the worst pieces of advice we get upset or angry is to just “get over it”.  This typically only results in resentment towards the other person and just puts a blanket over uncommunicative thoughts and emotions.  As uncomfortable as it may be at times, and as resistant you may be to being open and honest with the other person, the best thing you can do is communicate it to them.  Say exactly what you mean,

Keeping anger towards another person inside yourself is like holding on to a flame and expecting the other person to get burnt.  You owe it to yourself out of self-love alone to be honest and open with someone as a way to release yourself from the burden of carrying around something that needs to be communicated.  And when you do communicate it, you will often find that the story you were telling yourself about them as untrue or incomplete.

You have a mouth and vocal chords for a reason.  Don’t be afraid to use them!

3) Release

If you have looked at your story from different perspectives, have considered how you may have played a role in their behaviour, and if you express yourself to that other person from a place of sincerity, groundedness, and honesty, then your job is essentially done. If they still aren’t willing to listen, then you have to accept that they are simply not operating from a state of consciousness that is ready to be open and transparent.  Being frustrated and resentment that they aren’t hearing you out will only cause you more suffering.

Accept that they may not have the self-honesty or wisdom necessary to see things from your point of view, and move on knowing that you have done your part.  “Releasing” yourself from something doesn’t just meaning not thinking about it anymore.  To release does not mean to forget or suppress.  Sometimes, it requires deep meditation and ceremonial efforts to cleanse yourself and fully forgive the other person.

Hatred is just of a natural emotion to experience as anything else.  But with all emotions and feelings that arise within our energy field, it’s important to get into the habit of reviewing them, expressing them, and releasing them.  If you catch yourself feeling hatred towards another person, allow yourself to fully feel it.  Once you feel it , analyze it, express it, then release it, it’s no longer anger.  It becomes a lesson and an opportunity for higher understanding.