Now & Then: 7 Reasons Why Modern Relationships Don’t Always Last

It is no secret that relationships have changed and evolved since our parents’ time. How could they stay the same? The entire world has grown and changed and is no longer the one that our mothers and fathers passed onto us when we were born.

Despite this fact, we should still be pretty knowledgeable when it comes to modern relationships and dating. Why? Because this is our time. We not only grew up in this world, but we shaped its ideals and beliefs, just like it shaped ours.

So why are so many people miserable with modern relationships? Whatever the reason, only true knowledge and understanding can help to lift the curtain around this thorny issue. With that in mind, here are 7 reasons why modern relationships are so different.

1. Instant Gratification

Today’s culture is becoming increasingly obsessed with doing things fast over doing them right. We want pills to lose weight instantly, Start-ups and multi-level marketing schemes to get rich quick, and Netflix to be entertained on demand. We are slowly growing unused to having to wait and work for things. Relationships might be one of the only aspects of our lives that can refuse to be rushed. Real connections must take time.

2. Normalization of Drugs and Alcohol

modern relationship problems

Our culture is also normalizing the use and abuse of drugs and alcohol. More and more people are turning to these substances as a release, or an escape from reality.

While potential risks are mitigated by responsible habits, it is becoming more acceptable for people to rely too heavily on drugs and alcohol.

Those who are looking for companionship turn instead to their addiction as a means to cope. This association can often lead to a person spiraling into negativity.

3. Sex Positivity

However you feel about our sexually liberated culture that prides itself on separating sexuality and emotions, you must agree that every lifestyle has drawbacks. People who try to separate sexuality and emotions may find that they have become out of touch with one or the other. Separating sexuality and emotions runs the risk that eventually, these two essential parts of humanity may remain separate. People should make their own choices, but choices also understand that every choice has consequences.

4. Increased Selfishness

A little bit of selfishness is integral to living an autonomous life, and even having a healthy relationship. Refusing to compromise, however, can seriously harm your ability to maintain a meaningful relationship that isn’t poisonous to all the people involved. Thinking only about yourself only assures that you will be alone.

5. Increased Narcissism


We don’t want to be healthier to improve our quality of life. We want to have abs so that we can show them off on social media.

Waking up at 5am to work on a hobby or business isn’t nearly as important as bragging about it to friends and strangers. After all, people need to read my motivational wall posts, coupled with pictures of me at the gym –right?

Our culture runs the risk of not focusing on things that will actually add value to my life because they are lost in the glamor of wanting to seem special.

6. The Belief in Perfection

The only time life seems perfect is when you don’t have all the details. Despite this fact, our culture has been allured by the notion of the perfect life, and the perfect romance. Expecting someone to come along and know the intimate characteristics of your personality, as well as all of your likes and dislikes without making a single mistake, is an enormously unfair burden to place on another person’s shoulders.

7. Perception of Choice

dating choices

Even if you are not in a big city with hundreds of thousands of people or more, cheap transportation, as well as apps like Tinder, Okcupid, and even Instagram have created the perception that there are truckloads of potential dates out there.

These tools have made people overly picky about who they choose to enter a relationship with.

Seemingly harmless problems like a partner who chews with their mouth open become grounds for terminating a budding relationship because, in half a day, we can find another person.


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